“[TW: rape]
The motto of Guyland is “Bros Before Hos.” One remains steadfastly loyal to your guy friends, your bros, and one never even considers siding with women, the hos, against a brother. It is the guys to whom your primary allegiance must always be offered, and for many that may even extend to abetting a crime. Anything less is a betrayal of Guyland.
No one is immune to the culture of silence. Every single kid is culpable. If you still don’t think this has anything to do with you, ask yourself what you would have done. If you think this has nothing to do with your son, ask him what he would do if he heard about such a thing. Then ask him when was the last time he actually did hear about such a thing.
The culture of silence is the culture of complicity. The bystanders may think that they withdraw their support—by turning away, leaving the scene, or just standing stoically by—but their silence reinforces the behaviors anyway. It’s as strong an unwritten code as the police department’s famed “blue wall of silence,” or the Mafia’s infamous rule of “omerta,” or the secret rituals of the Masons. Breaking the silence is treason, worse, perhaps, than the activities themselves.
The relationship between perpetrators and bystanders is crucial in Guyland. Peer loyalty shields the perpetrators, and helps us explain the question of numbers. Despite the fact that the overwhelming majority of guys do not sexually assault their teammates, gang rape college women at fraternity parties, or indulge in acts of unspeakable cruelty, they also do nothing to stop it.
Most bystanders are relatively decent guys. But they are anything but “innocent.” The bystander comforts himself with the illusion “this isn’t about me. I’ve never bullied anyone.” This is similar to the reaction of white people when confronted with discussions of racism or sexism on campus. “It’s not about me! My family didn’t own slaves.” Or “I never raped anyone. These discussions about sexual violence are not about me.”
It is about them. The perpetrators could not do what they do without the amoral avoidance and silence of the bystanders. In a way, the violence is done for them—and so it is most definitely about them.”
—
Michael Kimmel, Guyland
the idea that the bystanders are “relatively decent guys” though? no
(via wretchedoftheearth)
Speaking out against rape/sexual assault is the only way to eradicate rape culture.
(via rapeculturerealities)
12:30 pm • 23 May 2013 • 370 notes
“3 percent of the decision-making in media comes from women. That means 97 percent of how women are portrayed is decided on by men.”
—
Independent Lens, PBS
“Wonder Women! The Untold Story of American Superheroines” (via ihopeyoucontinue4ever)
It also means that 97 percent of how men are portrayed in media are decided on by men. Something to remind MRAs and their ilk of when they complain about the stereotype of men as inept slobs, bad fathers, etc in media and advertising.
Men have the power. So when we men are shat on by the powers that be you don’t get to try and blame women for that.
(via karethdreams)
How much of that is white men tho?
(via howtobeterrell)
Also of that 3% it’s mostly white women
(via strugglingtobeheard)
(via feministquotes)
12:30 pm • 22 May 2013 • 16,511 notes
“Yes, false rape accusations happen. Run the protocol anyway. I’ve heard that perhaps the military has the highest number of ‘em. True or not, RUN THE PROTOCOL ANYWAY. Because in 15 years of investigating rape accusations, I can count those that panned out as false on one hand. Meanwhile, the one time I almost skipped the protocol, the one time I almost didn’t believe a petty officer, because I was naive as an investigator and a young woman, because her commanding officer described her as “a party girl, always late, always out drinking, don’t bother with this one”, she turned out to be the victim of one of the most brutal assaults I’ve ever investigated. She shouldn’t have still been -alive-, let alone up and making the accusation. So let me repeat: five false accounts in fifteen years. And one time I almost failed a woman ‘cause of the bullshit way it’s normal to talk about us. Take your shipmates’ word, and then run the protocol. Every. Single. Time.”
— - JAG lawyer, speaking to my husband’s plant during Sexual Assault Prevention Month. (via circusbones)
(via becauseiamawoman)
12:30 pm • 21 May 2013 • 11,398 notes
thearcanetheory:
androphilia:
“Being a woman is not a means to humiliate and punish anyone”
After a policeman in the Iranian Kurdish town of Marivan paraded an accused criminal in traditional Kurdish women’s clothes in the streets in order to humiliate him, women marched in the city condemning the use of women’s attire as a kind of humiliation.
In support, an internet campaign of Kurdish and other Iranian men has sprung up showing men wearing Kurdish women’s clothes and messages and support. For example, this message says,”wearing Kurdish women’s clothes is not only not an insult, it is instead a great honor for us,” and goes on to describe how women stand side by side with men in every part of society and during wartime.
Support the campaign by liking the page!
زن بودن ابزار تحقیر و تنبیه هیچ کس نیست
(via Ajam Media Collective)
WOW
(via petitsirena)
12:31 pm • 20 May 2013 • 28,303 notes
survivorsupport:
Grounding techniques are really helpful in that they bring you out of your mind and into the moment. If you can’t stop thinking about or reliving a past experience then try using some of the techniques listed. It might not help much at first, but the more you practice, the more beneficial it will get!
12:30 pm • 18 May 2013 • 14 notes
jillthompson:
im-a-kittycat:
“So my amazing daughter, Emma, turned 5 last month, and I had been searching everywhere for new-creative inspiration for her 5yr pictures. I noticed quite a pattern of so many young girls dressing up as beautiful Disney Princesses, no matter where I looked 95% of the “ideas” were the “How to’s” of how to dress your little girl like a Disney Princess…We chose 5 women (five amazing and strong women), as it was her 5th birthday but there are thousands of unbelievable women (and girls) who have beat the odds and fought (and still fight) for their equal rights all over the world”
- Jaime Moore, Not Just a Girl
This is awesome!
(via thenewwomensmovement)
12:30 pm • 17 May 2013 • 48,887 notes
“Wearing a hijab isn’t inherently liberating – but neither is baring one’s breasts. What is liberating is being able to choose either of these things. It’s pretty ludicrous to think that oppression is somehow proportional to how covered or uncovered someone’s body is. Both sides of this argument present a shallow understanding of women’s empowerment, which only drowns out the substantive challenges facing all women – issues that cannot be encapsulated in a debate about a piece of fabric.”
—
(via rcabbasi)
(via petitsirena)
11:52 pm • 15 May 2013 • 11,112 notes
Feminish (on Tumblr): 5 Mentalities The Perpetuate Rape Culture [TW]
loveyourrebellion:
Rape culture is bullshit, am I right? So, let’s break this shit down logically: how can we dismantle rape culture? One way is erasing ideologies and values that perpetuate rape culture, so below are 5 mentalities that perpetuate rape culture because awareness is key.
5. She’s a Slut
(Source: loveyourrebellion)
12:30 pm • 17 April 2013 • 4,172 notes
